"NO, MARY, I’M NOT “TRYING TO GET A JOB AT AMERICAN APPAREL,” THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT’S ‘MOVEMBER’ AND I’M TRYING TO HELP RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT CANCER BY GETTING SOMEONE TO SPONSOR THIS MOUSTACHE.
UNLIKE EVERY BARISTA AND/OR FIXED GEAR BICYCLE AFFICIONADO IN THE CITY I’M PERFECTLY AWARE HOW HORRIBLE I CURRENTLY LOOK.”